Feeling Stronger and Stronger

     It’s March 20, 2014.  I completed my radiation and chemotherapies five months ago.  

     I had a PET and CT scan done in early January.  Several people have asked me for the results and I apologize for not having put any update here on the blog.  The scans both showed nothing.  That’s a good thing.  It will be a year or two before my doctors make the statement I am cancer free, but, for now, the negative findings on my scans is GREAT news!

     I’ve been in recovery mode for most of that time.  No significant physical effects from the treatments, but I noted a substantial loss of stamina.  I simply could not do as much as I had been previously able to do.  At times, I considered that perhaps this lack of previously held stamina was the new “normal”.  I’m happy to say, it is not the new normal as I’m getting stronger all the time.   

     Two weeks ago I spent two days on an extension ladder helping a friend paint some very high ceilings.  In spite of two days on the ladder, up and down frequently, I was still able to come home and work in the yard.

     And now, I’m back on the mountain in Tennessee.  I was last here in September of last year.  I was in between my surgery and the start of the therapies.  Muggy and I made the trip then as we knew the Chateau needed to be winterized; and we had no idea if I would be physically able to do the required tasks while going through chemo and radiation.  

     So, it’s been six months since I’ve been here and a lot has happened in that time.  And God’s grace has carried me through it all.  So, here I am and I have been working like a mule today.  I started at 8:30 this morning, cutting grass, weed-whipping, cutting wood with my chain saw, hauling, stacking and more.  I’ve been at it for almost seven hours and, although tired, I FEEL GREAT!!

Great Joys and Sorrows

            Back in September, 2013, sometime early in the process of my radiation treatments, perhaps the very first day; I was sitting in the radiation therapy waiting room, anxious about what was to transpire.  As I sat there, I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation of the couple a few feet away sharing their story with another patient.

            A couple in their late 40’s and she has a tumor the size of a lemon on top of her brain.  I listened in awe to their story that morning and found myself amazed at their optimism and amazingly positive attitude toward the ordeal.  It was inspiring.

            Two days ago I watched as friends and family gathered to honor her life and the reality of cancer hit me once again.  Muggy and I visited Janet and Dale

Janet, Dale and me

in early January at their home.  We knew Janet was in hospice at the time and we are glad we had a chance to visit.

            Janet Miller was a sweet lady!!  I am blessed and enriched to have met and known both she and her husband Dale.  They always had a story to tell and a laugh or word of encouragement to share.

            Why did our paths cross at this point in time in our lives?  Why did cancer take Janet? Why am I here writing a blog entry?  So many questions that we cannot know the answers to, but I can draw solace from just having known her.

Dale, his Mother and us

            And I lift up prayers for God’s grace and mercy for Dale and their children, for Janet’s parents, for Dale’s parents, for all the family and friends who have lost a piece of their world that could only be filled by Janet. 

Dale and me

    

One Month Post Treatment

            Now, I’m one month post treatments.  I wish I could say that I’m back to normal and my life has returned to previous activity levels; it has not.  Honestly, I know that I’m being overly optimistic and unreasonable in the expectation that things should be back to “normal”.  I’ve done some reading this week about what to expect post treatments.  It can take two to three months to get back to normal (whatever “normal” may be), or, one will never return to previous activity levels.  I need to be prepared to adjust to what may be my new normal.

            That’s difficult for me to accept.  I’m borderline obsessive when it comes to activity levels.  I NEED to be doing things; projects, school, adventures, etc.  I find that I’m able to engage in projects and/or activities for 1-2 hours and then it’s time to rest.  And I do find myself taking naps on a regular basis.  Yesterday, I got dressed to go you yoga class.  I laid down on the bed for a minute and the next thing I knew, I had slept and was too late to make the class!  Someone told me this week that maybe I’m beginning to act like a “regular 60-year old”.  Not sure how that sits with me.  I do not want to be a “regular 60-year old” as the image that conjures in my mind is very negative.  Honestly, I think the image of a normal 60-year old is changing as we baby boomers achieve that milestone.

            I’ve read a couple of articles now that use the word epidemic for the incidence of HPV positive throat cancers in men in this country and Canada.  Apparently there are a lot of men being diagnosed and treated for these cancers.  The upside is that the prognosis for cure is quite high.  The downside is additional monetary burden on the healthcare system.

            Speaking of the healthcare system; I’m compelled to comment on the developing fiasco that is the Affordable Care Act (ACA), otherwise known as Obamacare.  Here’s a very simple approach to understanding the ACA.  If there were 47 million uninsured people in the U.S. and the goal is to get them all insured; is it not reasonable and logical to think it’s going to cost more money?   Of course it’s going to cost more.  And, the additional costs are covered by a) having more people buy insurance (such as the immortals in the age group 22-35), or b) having the government pay the costs (which means the debt and your taxes are going up, or c) having those who already have insurance pay more for what they were already receiving.  I do not debate that we need to provide adequate healthcare coverage to all, but I’m not convinced the ACA is the correct answer.  And, right now, I believe the President is dismayed that his administration’s legacy is doing so poorly.

Returning to Previous Interests

            Dilemma.  What to write about?  I don’t have the daily experiences (varied and very interesting) from the days of my treatments any longer, but I do hope I can keep this blog going.

            It has been an interesting week nonetheless.  I re-energized my aquaponics test bed.  In a previous post I mentioned that I finally got one tomato go grow in the aquaponics environment this summer. I didn’t grow the plant from seed, but rather from a seedling give to me by good friend Frank H.  It’s still pretty cool that I actually got something to grow.  I’ve already mentioned in previous blog that I’m considering starting a blog about aquaponics, so I guess I need to get busy.  Son Luke was impressed to learn that aquaponics is such a hot topic in certain circles these days.  Maybe his Dad isn’t so weird after all!!

            In the process of getting the aquaponics going again, I have noted we have unwanted visitors in the backyard again.  As I’ve had problems with these critters before, (they have eaten my goldfish at least three times!!), I decided it was time to get the trap out again.  After catching our cat Dante twice (you would think he’d learn!!), I’ve now realized success and caught a possum last night! 

Mr. Possum

            So, I’m now conditioning the water before introducing fish again.  It’s part of the process of setting up an aquaponics project.  The desired state is to have naturally occurring bacteria converting ammonia (which will eventually come from the fish) into nitrates for the plants to consume.        

            We had a great day yesterday celebrating youngest son Erik’s 22^nd birthday.  We were going to take the RV to Veteran’s Park, but the persistent rain changed those plans.  Instead, we took in a movie, Capt. Phillips.  Highly recommended!!  Talk about intense!  I think Tom Hanks deserves the academy award for his acting in the last 15 minutes of the movie.  Absolutely amazing!!

The B-day Boy and His Mom

            I’m feeling better each day.  I still get the “blahs” from time to time, but nothing persistent.  I don’t have a lot of energy, but I am managing to keep busy with small projects and interests and I’m doing quite a bit of reading.  Most recently I’ve been reading a previously classified 300 page CIA report on the development of the U-2 Dragon Lady aircraft.  Pretty darned interesting reading, but maybe that’s because I worked in intelligence for all those years. 

            Thanks for reading!  Blessings!!

Week Two Post Treatment; Justin's Gone!!

            Definitely feeling post treatment blues the past couple of days.  No motivation to do anything.  I don’t want to see anyone, go anywhere or do anything.  I’m not crabby, I’m simply feeling disconsolate.  I was pretty sure this was the right word but had to look up the meaning:

sad, unhappy, doleful, woebegone, dejected, downcast, downhearted, despondent, dispirited, crestfallen, cast down, depressed, down, disappointed, disheartened, discouraged, demoralized, low-spirited, forlorn, in the doldrums, melancholy, miserable, long-faced, glum, gloomy.

There, that pretty much describes how I’m feeling.  I’m not looking for sympathy in telling anyone this, I’m just continuing as I have done in communicating what’s going on in my world.  And I know that this too shall pass!

I did rejoice last week on Friday as the doctors ridded me of the nemesis Justin Case!!  Hooray!!  My feeding tube is history and I’m left with what resembles a naval with an eyebrow over it!! 

Before

After

I’m posting before and after treatment pictures of me with and without Justin.  The pictures go a little way toward illustrating the weight loss also!  But I’m still banned from the hot tub.  I have to wait a couple more weeks to make sure everything’s healed up.

We visited the Hope Lodge last week after my appointment and it was very good seeing friends again. 

Now starting to look ahead to life post-treatment to include travel, projects and possibly a return to school?  I’m going to fire up the aquaponics projects again, but maybe on a limited basis as winter is coming and it does occasionally dip below 32 degrees here.  I was pleased to note that the original test bed I practice with this summer has finally produced a single tomato.  Small success, but success nonetheless!

Thanks for reading!!  Blessings!